Saying goodbye again.

Hello my people!  This is my first official post for the year of 2018.  I'm sorry, so sorry! (In my mind I am singing this to all of you) But, I don't want you to think that I haven't been writing.  I wanted to post a little something a few months ago but as that time my head was in a whole other space.  There have been a whirlwind of events happening lately.  Still, no matter what's going on I still want to connect with you.  I haven't forgotten about you!

I do want to explain the title of this post to you.  The past ten months have been really challenging.  In my last post, I know that I mentioned to you that I had lost two of my aunts to cancer. Well, at the end of January, my grandmother passed away.  And just this past week, we lost another loved one to cancer.   My mother has endured a lot and so has my father.  I don't think that I have ever experienced something like this in my life.  To have both parents grieving at the same time is a hard thing to watch.  It's hard to say to yourself that this is a part of life.  Dying is a part of life.  But, that doesn't make this easier to handle.  It's very strange to see those people that you have grown up with begin to leave you.  The reality is...we are not meant to stay here.  This is just our temporary home.

But the beauty of all of this is knowing that I will see them again.  Because they are up there in heaven with the Lord.  What a beautiful reminder!

That is all for today.
I'll be back soon.

On this final day....

As I begin this last post for this year, I have to apologize to you all.  It's been way too long since I have updated you anything.  Good grief!  But, as always I will update you.  In my last post, I mentioned to you that my laptop died.  That was so hard for me to type again....so many memories. Tear! Sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes.  I am so happy to report that my nice, sweet boyfriend gave me one for my birthday, in September!!!!  And let me tell you that it was such a blessing to receive that gift from him.  He is pretty cool.  Not because of the laptop though!

Anyway, so I need to share something with you all that's very serious....

I want to explain what's been happening for the last four months of this year.  In August, my mother lost her sister to cancer.  Three months later, on the exact same day, my father also lost his sister to cancer.  It's hard to lose anyone.  But to lose them both on the exact same day, three months apart from each other is unreal.  Both are my parents are mourning now.  I know that there are leaning not only on each other but also on the Lord.  It is a reminder to us that God gives us people for a moment.  Moments to him are very different than what we think they are.

I am thankful for each and every moment that I had with both of my aunts.  That is something that I will always carry with me.  My Aunt Helen's quietness and Aunt Eddie Mae's boldness is what I remember the most.  And it's what I will treasure.  Sure, this year has been a challenging one.  I think that some of you would agree with me on this.  Yet, as challenging as it was, something always remained the same.  God was there.  Even in my celebrations and in my pain, his love remained. 

As we all go into next year, let's keep this in the forefront of our minds.  Remember that He is always there.  Love you guys and I'll see you in 2018!

(More posts are coming.  Yes, I know I've said it before but just trust me!)

One chapter ends and so did my laptop! Long sigh...


Hello, my people!  So I decided to start this post off with a title.  I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to do that but it just felt right today.  As you can read by the title, yes my laptop is having a difficult time right now.  Probably due to all the stress and strain of school.  I just don't think that it could take it anymore.  Actually, I had it checked out and I think that it will cost more than what I want to pay to fix it.  So, I'll probably have to look for a new one!  Ugh, so sad!

But, enough about my poor laptop.  Now you know that I have to give you guys an update and a lesson too!  I received my TESOL certificate in the mail.  FINALLY!  There was a bit of a hiccup to receive it but it is finally in my hands.  Haha...sorry I will try and compose myself.  But, all joking aside this truly has been a crazy experience.  From start to finish it all really challenged me on so many different levels.  I started this journey doing several different things all at one time.  I was still learning the Korean language with my tutor, singing in the choir and the vocal team at church, helping a friend with his English on Wednesday nights and on Thursdays nights; being with my crazy drama team!  Whew, I'm worn out just writing all of that.

There were a few of those that I had to give up.  I was trying to do all of them at one hundred percent.  Well, it was such a good thought!  You know what happened after that, right?  When you are trying to do too many things all at once you slowly wear yourself out.  I began to resent being involved with a few of them.  I started to treat them like a job and not as a ministry.  It is hard for me to say this but it was exactly how I felt.  God was also painting a very large picture for me to look at.  He was allowing me to see myself.  He also showed me that it was time for me to let go and focus on what was in front of me.

You know, God has an amazing way of preparing us for the next project.  He gives us time to let go of the things that we think we may need in order to give us something else.  It's like God giving us a new tool for a new task.  If we hold onto the old tool how are we supposed to start the new task in front of us?  I'll tell you that it is hard for me to give up things.  I think because I don't want things to change or I really don't want to disappoint anyone.  Is that way of thinking helpful though?  Probably not. The new chapter that God prepares us for is about us being willing to be used by him.  Change is a continuous thing.  It will always happen no matter where you are at in your life.  And where I am right now is in the chapter of WAITING!  Oooo, it's a hard one.

I'm not sure where you are at in your life but maybe it's time to ask yourself this question.  What is the next task that God is preparing you for?  You might be surprised by his answer.

Until next time.....

I told you that I would be back.  I didn't forget about you.  How could I?  I will tell you that I have a major announcement to share with you all.  Yes, I do.  Are you ready?

I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH SCHOOL!  YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!  Oops, sorry I didn't mean to keep going.  Wait, one more...YEAH!!!!  I had to let you know. I finished my last class this past Tuesday.  I have been waiting for this moment for the past year and a half.  So, I am going to celebrate.

Now, this will be another short post but I promise I will fill you in with more details.
So, don't go anywhere.  I shall return...

 

Wait a minute... no new posts yet?  What?  Are you serious?  I am so sorry!  I even made a promise to you that I would send you more updates this year.  Epic fail on my part.  Wow! 

Alright, now that I have gotten all of that off of my chest I feel much better.  Well, I still feel bad about not keeping you updated on some things.  If you only knew all of the crazy stuff that has been going on you would totally understand. But, to make it up to you... I do have some exciting news to share with you. 

Ok, are you ready?  In one month I will be done with school.  And I can truly say that I am ready to finish now.  This is all that I can tell you at this moment.  I'll be back with more details soon.

I promise.  Just be patient with me!   

Happy New Year!  Well, technically it's New Year's Eve.  But we are so very close to 2017.  Of course, leave it to me to squeeze in one last post on the last day of the year.  You know I had to though, ha!

First and foremost, I would like to apologize to all of you for not being on the ball and giving you more posts about my year.  Life caught up to me this year and I am just plain worn out.  I know, I know...I have said this to you way too many times before.  But, I did want to fill you in on what's been happening lately.  I'll try to list it all down below.

*I am now 60 hours into my practicum teaching hours of my certificate. (Woohoo! Only 60 more to go.)
*Helping teach ESL classes two nights a week
*December 17th, we performed our show at church called, 'The Prodigal Christmas'.  It was a lot of fun and a lot of work.  My legs still hurt from running in those heels!
*Rehearsal, Rehearsal, Rehearsal for the show.  We had been working on the show for about 5 months.
*Memorizing my lines and the songs for the show
*Me-working full-time. Should I say anything else? I don't think so.
*Trying to spend time with my boyfriend.  It's hard when there is a 14 hour time difference between us. (Wait, what? Boyfriend!  Yes, ladies and gentlemen I did say boyfriend.  Hmmm...I feel like questions are coming to me about this.  I will give you answers soon.)

Whew, that was a lot of stuff!  And somewhere in the midst of all of this I did eat and sleep.  It all seems like a dream but it happened.  Yet, I must say...What an amazing year it has been.  Trust me, it has definitely been a year of surprises and challenges.  I can't say that it has been easy.  There were days when I thought I wouldn't be able to get out of bed.  I didn't know if I would have the strength to help another person who was being rude to me at my job.  Or to even sit down and help students from different countries with their English.  Still God seemed to always be there when I wanted to throw in the towel.  He quickly reminded me that I had come to far to even think about doing that.

I also let go of some things this year.  I let go of some baggage and some childhood dreams.  I mourned the loss of some idols that I grew up watching and listening to when I was a child.  (Prince, George Michael, Gene Wilder, Patty Duke, David Bowie, Carrie Fisher, Muhammad Ali and Maurice White of Earth Wind & Fire)

***I can remember listening to 'Purple Rain' for the first time and being moved to tears.  Where would my brother be without listening to Gene Wilder sing, "If you want to view paradise simply look around and view it" from Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory***

With everything that this year has brought to me, I can still be thankful.  I am grateful for the good days and even the more crazy days.  I realize that those crazy days pruned me for the upcoming year.  And I am really looking forward for what is to come.  Now, I don't know what your year looked like for you.  Some days may have been sweet and there may have been some that were bitter for you.  They were there to make you better not make you bitter.  So, ask yourself this question...What I am going to do for the new year? 
It's really up to you.

Well people, my time is up! I hope that your thoughts, your next steps and your next challenges are always centered around God.  Have an awesome and fabulous New Year people!

More thoughts next year......




   

Oh my it has been so long...ok, way too long. It has almost been five months and I cannot even believe that it is November already.  We are approaching the holidays and then the end of the year!  Ahhhhhh!  I don't even want to think about that right now.  There are way too many things swimming around in my brain today.  It seems like I have been on this 'life-merry-go-round' lately. You know exactly what I am talking about when I say this.  School stuff, work stuff, family stuff, relationship stuff and this everyday-being-a-Christ-follower stuff.  (Do I really need to go on...I didn't think so!)

Now let me explain the 'Christ-follower stuff' to you. I think you know where I am going with this so please just keep reading  It is so difficult to let His light shine in us when people are rude to you, when someone cuts you off in traffic or when co-workers gossip and want you to join the discussion. Even when you have to wait in line to vote for 2 to 3 hours or even when you have a disagreement with your family.  (I put the voting comment in to see if you were paying attention! Ha.  This only happens once in a while!)

This is the stuff that I am talking about.  At first, we try to gain control and maneuver things in our own way.  We forget about spending time with God because we are too tired from the battle. When we are tired and worn out we only seem to give God the leftovers of our day  And that is the problem.  But, it is not our battle to fight.  It is the Lord's.  Yes I said it!

One of my real cool friends reminded me about this today.  I love how God gives us the exact people that we need in our lives.  My friend gave me that gentle, soft reminder about keeping God first in my life.  As I listened to my friend speak about this to me, the tears began to fall down my face.  God used this person to speak to my heart and it is exactly what I was supposed to hear this afternoon.  We need to unloosen our grip on whatever we have it on and allow God to take over.  Leave it with him and don't even think about taking it back!

Whatever comes our way let's continue to hold on to Gods hand and move forward with him.  Not without him.

Have a wonderful Sunday!
(Note:  Yes, I promise I will write more before the year is over.  Just be ready when I do.)